Meum cerebrum nocet

It's some unearthly hour on the last day of term, and I'm blogging again because my sleep was interrupted by a text message (cue creepy sense of deja vu). Almost unreal, this feeling that I'll be home withing 36 hours. Back in the sticky warmth I was born into, the familiar-forgotten smiles through airport glass, the security of my parents' arms around me, the hour-long drive home when my inner world slowly unwinds on the road to rest, the collapse of barriers when the door closes behind me and I am surrounded by the spaces and objects that define me.

There is a part of us that will always remain the child who once fell asleep in its mother's lap, the child who saw eternity in the thrilling moments of being swung from a pair of strong arms, the child who yearned to grow up so fast. I suppose it's this need of security and care-lessness that gives rise to religions and systems of belief that places accountability on powers beyond ourselves. But we all grow, and the once-small glass that was so easy to fill takes more and more effort to be fulfilled. In life, one can only hope to segue from dawn to dusk.

Pour Moi??

Such an utter klutz today, without actually being physical. Put an egg on the stove to boil and promptly forgot about it until ages later I went into the kitchen to explore the source of the rather acrid burning smell seeping into my room through the overhead kitchen vent. Gaaah! Bits of broken eggshell everywhere, and a rather sheepish me.

(Comment on the side: what does it mean to look "sheepish"? Baaa...)

Anyway, here is an utterly shameless little blog entry. Tis the season for giving, n'est pas? Though some might argue that gifts given totally out-of-the-blue are far nicer hehe. Well people, it's me birthday on the 22nd and Christmas on the 25th. And this is my "oh! would so love to have any of this, but really, you shouldn't have" list.

Ah! you say. This young woman's been given a wonderful new cello - honestly, that instrument's worth a decade of birthday and Christmas presents. Smiling (sheepishly), I'll reply: I've been very good this year - honest! And without further ado, my WishList of 2005"

From Canongate US and increasingly popular religion-historian Karen Armstrong, an essay tracing the development of mythology and its major impact on the various chapters in human history. A welcome alternate would of course be Kenneth Davis's Don't Know Much about Mythology or Don't Know Much about World Myths hehe..

1930s classic anti-Stalinist protest literature wrapped in a surreal allegory of good and evil, weaving Pontius Pilate's prefecture in Jerusalem with multiple narratives... a brilliant, dark matrioska doll of a book, apparently. Tamara recommended this to me sometime ago, and I've just remembered it when I saw a copy lying in Linus' flat on Saturday. Sounds terribly intruiging... I want the uncensored translation!

And last on my book wishlist (being good here ;D)... A non-fiction account of how Caravaggio's lost painting The Taking of the Christ was eventually tracked down, though apparently this reads like a good ole fiction romp, with typically dry and tedious descriptions of artistic restoration well livened up. (Random House 2005)

There you go. Being rather cultured aren't I?

Tying up of loose ends

'Tis nearing the end of my first term in tertiary education. What an adventure 2005 has been, what a rollercoaster ride. Sloggin through a tonne of reading during the daylight hours (not that there's a whole of of that huh) to enjoy Manchester like the nocturnal creature I am. S'ppose on Friday I can just board the plane and start my winter hibernation...

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From Japundit via asiapundit, here's a brilliant, absolutely not-to-be-missed short documentary on.. How to Eat Sushi, the 'proper' Japanese way. *smirk* "Maa maa maa maa".... Verily, yours truly was unquestionably enlightened.

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On a more personal note, here a bigggg Happy Burfdayyy to all my December babies! Tsk, tsk. Judging on the number of friends' bdaes round about now, March really seemed like THE month for lurrrvvvin'. Lots of love, hugs, kisses and slugs (jk, jk) - man... the videos from Shyan's 22nd are just classic. Really missing so many people at the moment though... the countless birthdays I've celebrated with countless different people flash past in an instant, never to be relived except in blurred photos and mind-dizzying MPEGs.

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Spontaneously exhilarating conversation with Uncle Long and Phing on Saturday night - newfound travel buddies! So where to now, my dears? Europe beckons, tantalisingly. If Prague then we might as well do the area ie Germany, Austria etc. If Turkey then Macedonia, Greece? Oh, to be care-free and rich! p.s. the Trans-Siberian Railway's still a wild dream...

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Applied for a fantastic job - *fingers crossed* but being realistic about it as MorrisHargreavesMcIntyre need people now but I'm only available for work starting February 1. Alternatively, am sending my CV to Whitworth Art Gallery. Wilmslow Park's only feasible next year if I can find a job with low minimum hours - not in desperate need of pocket money and not willing to sacrifice studies and health for work, but just wanna make up the $$ balance if I want to stay in posh private accommodation. Don't mind starting work next sem; have to admit - that extra bit of spending cash would come in handy, plus I really should start some serious saving if I'm going to travel in 2006.

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Another reason to celebrate - my group got a First in our work psychology presentation!! Waheyy thanks goes out to: Dara, Yas, Sunjay, Has (yes, now we all believe you did break your arm, silly) But the seminar leader was a bit of a racist bitch, wasn't she... Colour is beautiful, you stingy bleached old prune. We rule!

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My room's freezing cold and absolutely reeks of the entire block's lunchtime cooking. More books to read before I can come home, a puny little Financial Reporting computer-based test to do, a long-overdue trip to Trafford Centre avec un bon copain d'achats à faire du lêche vitrine (hehe..), probably partying every night, and meeting a motley of Manchester friends for the last time in 2005. Bonne chance all for the Xmas studying! My empty suitcase is begging to be fed...

View of Picadilly Gardens late one watery, smouldering afternoon. Atmosphere so lush you can almost feel the wetness on your skin, and a bird winging its way - to warmer skies perhaps? (Note this photo is completely unedited.)

Malaysia vs UK

It's been a day for crashing, with tears and headaches, soggy tissues and comforting coffee, irritable bus drivers and reliable good friends. (You know who you are - thank you.) I'll not add another sob-story to the ever-growing ocean of blogged tragedies. Instead, here's a collection of photos over the past few years specially for an ole friend who asked whether I preferred Malaysia or England. We carry the greenest grass wherever we go, though sometimes it really takes a bit of effort to recognise that. I'll start with the smallest, often-overlooked things.



Clyclamen mini on a blue napkin.

(Indoors, Dorset, UK)









Pink Thunderlily amidst "pearl grass".

(Domestic garden, Selangor, Malaysia)








The West, where young people are highly skilled in intepreting centuries' old music on traditional instruments...

(Concert hall, Bristol, UK)




...and the East, where the elderly listen to their choice of music on the latest technology.

(Night market, Selangor, Malaysia)













From small ancient seeds inspiration sprouts...

(Vicars Close, Somerset, UK)









...giving wings to our immortal dreams.

(Petronas Twin Towers, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)





Wherever in these two countries you may be, you'll always find a place...

(Poole, Dorset, UK)





...to lose yourself amidst stormy waves, or in calm waters discover the sublime.

(Kuala Rompin, Terengganu, Malaysia)





But though the trees could be the same to most of us...

(Along Boh Tea Plantation, Cameron Highlands, Malaysia)






(Along the Thames, London, UK)










...it's easy to admire the effortless beauty of an arching fan vault and light filtered through dusky glass,

(The Octagonal Room, Wells Cathedral, UK)



and absorb yourself in the endlessly patterning lace-like supports of a tropical wooden roof.

(Awana Kijal, Terengganu, Malaysia)




Whether sipping cold pina coladas on warm sand...

(Terengganu Coast, Malaysia)







...or steamy kisses in frosty air,

(Lacrosse fields, Dorset, UK)








Each to his own likes and dislikes.

(Moat around Bishop's Palace, Somerset, UK)







After all, isn't the world a big enough playing field for all of us?

(Kuala Rompin, Terengganu, Malaysia)

Photosluts vs Camwhores..?

Just love the way language evolves, especially with this lovely over-grown mongrel called (Queen's) English. *chortle*


Um. Hate to plunge into a completely different train of thought just when the entry was starting to get amusing, but hey blogging's supposed to be a means of expressing one's thoughts and emotions, n'est pas?

The wind from our sighs could wipe away the entire world.

Grandmother's been through hell and back this week, though I've only just found out. The tumour was swelling her verterbrae and exerting intense pressure on her spinal cord. Mum's taken her to hospital a few days in a row, but didn't want me to get worried. Suppose I shouldn't be now that they've eliminated the pain, but it still doesn't stop me from imagining her agony and wishing so badly that I was there with Mum.

On a darker note, Singapore executed an Australian (of Korean heritage) less than 24 hours ago. The crime? Drug smuggling. Capital punishment is still very prevalent also in Malaysia - thrice a year for the past 4 years I've heard the same announcement over the MAS PA system: "May passengers be reminded that the bringing of drugs into Malaysia is illegal and holds a mandatory death sentence..."

In recent years I've grown increasingly disturbed that capital punishment is still doled out on occasion. Note Mrs. English's influence on my thinking if you will, but if there was one thing I could change about my country - or any other country for that matter - it would be to abolish the death penalty. (The second is many countries' negative stance against euthanasia, but more about that other time.) I can be uttely confident in saying that most of us view murder (ie the taking of a person's life against their freewill) is a heinous crime. To further emphasise my point: one does not punish any crime with a heavier crime. Why hang a drug-smuggler? One does not punish an action with the same action. Does hanging murderers not, in effect, make us murderers on the basis that we create and belong to the very societies that condemn them? To quote Amnesty International:

"The death penalty is the ultimate cruel, inhuman and degrading punishment. It violates the right to life. It is irrevocable and can be inflicted on the innocent. It has never been shown to deter crime more effectively than other punishments."

To quote Steph Vicic (wherever on earth she got this one from), one of the wisest and most intelligent people I've ever had the honour of knowing:

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Well said, my dear. Well said.

Learnt a new word today =)
Moratorium:

1. Law.
   1. An authorization to a debtor, such as a bank or nation, permitting temporary suspension of payments.
   2. An authorized period of delay in the performance of an obligation.
2. A suspension of an ongoing or planned activity: a moratorium on the deployment of a new weapon.

For example, "A UN resolution calling for a worldwide moratorium on executions has been co-sponsored by 76 countries, one more than in 2003 and the highest number ever."

Mankind will never find a way of taking life from those who no longer want or deserve it and giving it to those who need it, however high our dreams fly. But - the moments are trickling away, too precious to be wasted in front of a cold impersonal screen and a largely-uncaring audience. dum loquimur, fugerit invida aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero


p.s. will put up links to various sites on the left, soon! photo above taken in Wells Cathedral, Somerset, the heart of one of my alma maters...

Last month, first day

Happy Birthday to my Mummy! And lil cousin bro Sean/Shau Chi! (okay, not-quite-so-little anymore, but stil young enough for me to beat you hands down at a lot of things hehe...) As we celebrate, let us also commemorate World AIDS Day, remembering those who have fallen, those who suffer, and those whose futures hold uninmaginable pain.

So many things to do, so little time. One song I listen to from time to time to keep life in perspective is Jewel's Hands ("my hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own...").

At the moment I'm bordering on being anaemic but am determined not to let it get me down too much. Nuthin' I can do except eat properly (iron-rich food n the tiniest amount of folic acid everyday), and try not to get burnt out too quicky each academic term. On the whole, I manage to survive pretty well. (Small comment on the side: pregnant women take folic acid, for goodness' sake. Mum was allergic to folic acid or something like that when she was carrying me; the irony is that now I've to eat a truck-load of the stuff over my entire life.)

I was bloody hungry, dizzy-headed, waaayy too warm under the duvet despite an open window by the bed, and scarily chock-full of sparky thoughts. Had a long-past-midnight meal, updated my CV, read a few tips on photography, listened to some Josh Groban (yar yar, don't have to nudge so) and now I'm a slightly happier bunny. =) Ignore the time under this entry - it's actually closer to dawn than midnight.

A motley collection of things to do over the next decades:
~ become of better person
~ become a better musician
~ learn Spanish to an intermediate level plus enough of another to communicate, brush up my Chinese and French
~ become a better photographer
~ get a tattoo
~ work for an NGO (perhaps WorldVision)
~ "adopt" a child
~ find the one I'm going to marry, and marry him
~ have his children
~ if above option not possible, adopt for real
~ learn how to dive
~ own a gorgeous luxury sports car and drive it on weekends
~ more realistically, graduate with a solid degree, get a good job with a salary enough to keep myself and my family comfortable
~ travel a little bit more of the world: Turkey, Greece, the African Continent, South America, the Caucasus, Canada, Oceania, do the trans-Siberian Railway or the Silk Route, virgin rainforests still left in Malaysia. Make use of my TEFL dip. now that I've achieved it
~ further develop my culinary skills =p
~ never lose sight of who I am through change and time, die loved and still loving myself

Enough for a whole lifetime and more.

Life is a stage,
So play your part.
Some will slander,
Some will shy,
Damn the critics,
And live your life.