Friday, June 23, 2006

Back from hibernation

Ahhhh I'm home. And it's a great feeling.

You know, that sensation of having absolutely no worries for the time being, of being in a safe, safe place, of finding the place that fits you like a tailored piece of clothing.

I realised the other day that once I'm outta uni, the only relatively long (ie more than 1 1/2 months) break I'll ever get from then onwards would be when I go on maternity leave. Govt say minimum 60 days now waaaht. Which means - gulp.

I realise this blog is close to entering a persistent vegetative state. I haven't been able to get my laptop connected to the silly streamyx modem since I've been back, so my photos are gonna have to stay on my lappy until I get it fixed.

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And oh, FDM went ok. Just ok. Actually it sucked, but then I'm just happy happy that exams and 1st year is over wheeeeeeeeeee.. More thoughts on completing my inagural year of university later.

The last few days of being in Manc were totally hectic. FDM on Wednesday; clubbing @ Opus (instead of MTWO) with Li Ying, Sam and Nic was a blast! 4 hot chicks indeed. Mr Freaky Egoistic Chinese Dude was amusing, and Mr Ooh Scottish Accent turned out pretty cute but boring after a while.

Amidst the final exam, lots of last minute packing and an airport taxi that never turned up, I managed to say good riddance to my skanky Whitworth Park Hall flat, have lunch @ Thai Banana with the Mgt gals and 3 guys of various delectable ratings, catch Silent Hill, and say goodbye to some dear friends. Damn all of ya who went off to Spain! ;)

Journey to Manc Airport was kinda interesting, with Yet Th'ng panicking all the way that she'd miss her flight and me just sitting there cool as a... cucumber? Anyway thankfully I didn't get into any trouble with the extra weight of my cello, and arrived on home ground without a hitch, until I realised that the poor BF had been left behind in London! Silly BMI girl didn't check the cello all the way to KL so the boyf had to spend a night in Heathrow all alone.... sobs.

Came home Saturday evening to a scrumptious dinner of siew zhu guat jook. Sunday night saw me off again to Pulau Lang Tengah with darling Kambing and her bunch of kooky but cool Taylors lawyer-wannabes. More goss and photos about our three-day trip and my three-day crush later... =P

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Talking about photos, here's a photo of my new toy :P


Isn't he simply gorgeous?

p.s. Shyan, I've already prowled our SS2 pasar malam for irresistable photos of your favourite fried stuff stall teeheehee...

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Aiya I've been tagged! Linges, I'm so gonna get you back for this. Dude, I'm only doing this meme out of blogging etiquette ok? Here goes:

MEME OF DOOM

-The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
-Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
-Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
-If you are tagged the second time.There is NO need to do this again.(i got tagged 3 times!)
-Lastly, most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

Righty ho, I'm trying to have fun here, but tis a bit of a brain-wracker leh.

My perfect lover: (hmm it says "lover", not "mate for life" rite?)
(in no particular order) ~ gentle, obliging, flexible ;) , main aim in life is to please ME, mature, patient, curious, loving.

Of course male la.

And I'm not quite evil enough to tag people right at this moment - busy packing again leh. But if any of you wanna do it then, feel free you sad people.

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Again, how time passes - I've been back two weeks! Gotta go - I'm off to Fraser's Hill! Catch y'all on Sunday.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

(Extract from To Myself)

3.22 am and I find myself doing my usual exam stress ritual of writing in my journal. Five down, one excruciating last one to go! Financial Decision Making, of course. Surprisingly I've given up panicking a long time ago, and now I'm floating in a strange sea of blase-ness, and insouciant couldn't-care-less mood.

Frustration: a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs. - Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

I am frustrated. Academically, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, musically frustrated.

(I have my parents to take care about the financial frustration bit.)

By noon on Friday this one year of my life will be completely boxed away, removed from the world to become dusty and musky, until one fine day in three months' time I'll fling open cardboard lids and exclaim oh, how the time has passed!

Ok, ok. Collect my thoughts, focus on FDM. Deep breath followed by an even deeper sigh...

Friday, June 02, 2006

London cont'

Monday saw me wandering about High St Kensington before and after a posh pizza lunch with Eun-Jung. Had a lovely time yakking away and window shopping. Explored the delicate St Mary Abbotts Church while waiting for Lynn to finish her piano lesson and lunch. More money down the drain.. sigh.

Emma made her way to Shepherd's Bush around 10pm, and so it was another wonderful time just catching up on one year's abscence from each other's life. Happenin, indeed. Imagine us two guzzling wine and munching on Cadbury's fruit & nut chocolate on poor Otis' bed haha!

Didn't have time to explore Peter Paul Ruben's ceiling in the Banqueting House with Emma on Tues morning, so we made our way to Egham via a rambling bus ride and a short train journey from Waterloo.

Egham's this small town around which the Royal Holloway is situated. Met up with my blond longshanks - Claire la - at the train station, then we went to a really nice Italian restaurant to catch up over lunch. Lovely.

Neways i'm too lazy to blog much now. Hahaha photos and more updates akan datang ya.

Hail Juno

June's descended on us and I can hardly believe how quickly the last five months have passed by. I've got good ole Savage Garden playing away softly and I'm lolling my way through a very strange mood.

It's probably my body's way of telling me how tired I am. A decisive order to just... stop.

Ever run through a field and had a friend spin you round and round until you both collapse onto the soft ground, helpless with laughter? Ever just lain there watching the world spin past, Time leaving you unexorably behind, wishing yearning dying for it all to stop and wait for you to catch up?

Welcome to the current interior of my world.

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~On Happiness~

Lynn says:
what should be the normal balance anywyas
Lynn says:
between high and lows
Lynn says:
would u say 50-50
Lynn says:
i mean...ideally it does kinda make sense
Lynn says:
cos u won't appreciate the highs without the lows
yi-wen says:
hmmm...
yi-wen says:
actually i'd say i'm slightly happy most of the time
yi-wen says:
like, being able to be happy-ish just with myself
yi-wen says:
sighh i dunno
Lynn says:
heheh
yi-wen says:
it seems like the younger and more innocent i was, the easier it was to be happy
Lynn says:
of course
Lynn says:
everything was 'simpler'
Lynn says:
hahaha
Lynn says:
then again...
Lynn says:
pple complained about my 'thinking too much' when i was like 10 or something
Lynn says:
hahaha
yi-wen says:
nah, i dont feel as if things were simpler
yi-wen says:
back then
yi-wen says:
just not as "jaded" as now, and every experience was fresh
Lynn says:
i dunno...
Lynn says:
for me...
Lynn says:
its just now...i worry about what pple will think or feel
Lynn says:
like...
Lynn says:
there are the parents...
Lynn says:
big important factor
yi-wen says:
as always hehe
Lynn says:
and last time...i never really used to think about how they'd feel about something
Lynn says:
but now...
Lynn says:
everything i do...
Lynn says:
alot of things i do or feel i don't say cos i don't want them to worry
Lynn says:
i don't want to hurt them or think of themselves as 'failures' for producing 3 useless kids
yi-wen says:
yeaahh
yi-wen says:
and sometimes i feel that although ppl cant help judging, the ppl i least want to be judged by are my parents
Lynn says:
yeah
Lynn says:
all i want is to give love and to recieve love
Lynn says:
and sometimes i get crazy thoughts like...if i do something really bad...my parents won't be happy...
Lynn says:
so will they love me less
Lynn says:
and crap like that
yi-wen says:
yeaahhhh
Lynn says:
sigh
Lynn says:
that is really what i want eh..
Lynn says:
hrmmm
Lynn says:
never really thought of it like that
Lynn says:
to love and to be loved...
Lynn says:
and music
yi-wen says:
if only life's that simple huh
Lynn says:
well...
Lynn says:
i suppose
yi-wen says:
^^
Lynn says:
then again...sometimes...i think alot of my complexities...i create by myself
yi-wen says:
sighh... been completely useless today haha


But 'tis true, the oft-repeated line from Nature Boy: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return..."

And don't most of us want that at many points in our lives? The incomparable love of a mother and father is one thing, but there comes a time in one's emotional journey when we feel the need for someone else. Parents are, after all, ultimately biased towards their own offspring and ya can't help loving something you've created. (I'm sure even Dan Brown has a mother haha.)

I suppose that's why once we hit a certain age there's this deep-seated, intense longing to have someone else love you simply, as unconditionally as humanely possible, without any other selfish motive but to be loved in return. And this means the whole package of enchanting traits and disreputable habits et cetera.

I just want to feel.

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On a lighter note, I'm getting a new camera! Yippeeeee... *shhh* it's supposed to be a secret but anyways my parents'll get my trusty Sony P10 hand-me-down, and I'll just blissfully shop around until something catches my eye. Any suggestions?

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Went to see X Men: The Last Stand yesterday evening with Li Ying, Enn Yong and Min Fung. Pretty good as a movie in itself, but personally I think it's the weakest of the trilogy. Plenty of action and eye-candy, but it lacks the great character development, smooth plot continuity and the wonderful quieter moments of the earlier two. Verdit: X2 still rocks my boat! Oh yeah, for those who have yet to see it, don't forget to stay on until after the credits. After the credits, i say!

The lastest on the entertainment grapevine is that they're gonna make a stand-alone Wolverine movie. Waheyy bring on the sexy Hugh Jackman - encore! Encore!


Lovely painting we saw at the Rembrandt-Caravaggio exhibition at the Van Gogh Museum during the Easter Amsterdam trip - Rembrandt's enchating oil study of his son Titus daydreaming at his desk. Read my long-winded artsy comparison here if you really have nothing better to do.