Hail Juno

June's descended on us and I can hardly believe how quickly the last five months have passed by. I've got good ole Savage Garden playing away softly and I'm lolling my way through a very strange mood.

It's probably my body's way of telling me how tired I am. A decisive order to just... stop.

Ever run through a field and had a friend spin you round and round until you both collapse onto the soft ground, helpless with laughter? Ever just lain there watching the world spin past, Time leaving you unexorably behind, wishing yearning dying for it all to stop and wait for you to catch up?

Welcome to the current interior of my world.

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~On Happiness~
Lynn says:
what should be the normal balance anywyas
Lynn says:
between high and lows
Lynn says:
would u say 50-50
Lynn says:
i mean...ideally it does kinda make sense
Lynn says:
cos u won't appreciate the highs without the lows
yi-wen says:
hmmm...
yi-wen says:
actually i'd say i'm slightly happy most of the time
yi-wen says:
like, being able to be happy-ish just with myself
yi-wen says:
sighh i dunno
Lynn says:
heheh
yi-wen says:
it seems like the younger and more innocent i was, the easier it was to be happy
Lynn says:
of course
Lynn says:
everything was 'simpler'
Lynn says:
hahaha
Lynn says:
then again...
Lynn says:
pple complained about my 'thinking too much' when i was like 10 or something
Lynn says:
hahaha
yi-wen says:
nah, i dont feel as if things were simpler
yi-wen says:
back then
yi-wen says:
just not as "jaded" as now, and every experience was fresh
Lynn says:
i dunno...
Lynn says:
for me...
Lynn says:
its just now...i worry about what pple will think or feel
Lynn says:
like...
Lynn says:
there are the parents...
Lynn says:
big important factor
yi-wen says:
as always hehe
Lynn says:
and last time...i never really used to think about how they'd feel about something
Lynn says:
but now...
Lynn says:
everything i do...
Lynn says:
alot of things i do or feel i don't say cos i don't want them to worry
Lynn says:
i don't want to hurt them or think of themselves as 'failures' for producing 3 useless kids
yi-wen says:
yeaahh
yi-wen says:
and sometimes i feel that although ppl cant help judging, the ppl i least want to be judged by are my parents
Lynn says:
yeah
Lynn says:
all i want is to give love and to recieve love
Lynn says:
and sometimes i get crazy thoughts like...if i do something really bad...my parents won't be happy...
Lynn says:
so will they love me less
Lynn says:
and crap like that
yi-wen says:
yeaahhhh
Lynn says:
sigh
Lynn says:
that is really what i want eh..
Lynn says:
hrmmm
Lynn says:
never really thought of it like that
Lynn says:
to love and to be loved...
Lynn says:
and music
yi-wen says:
if only life's that simple huh
Lynn says:
well...
Lynn says:
i suppose
yi-wen says:
^^
Lynn says:
then again...sometimes...i think alot of my complexities...i create by myself
yi-wen says:
sighh... been completely useless today haha


But 'tis true, the oft-repeated line from Nature Boy: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return..."

And don't most of us want that at many points in our lives? The incomparable love of a mother and father is one thing, but there comes a time in one's emotional journey when we feel the need for someone else. Parents are, after all, ultimately biased towards their own offspring and ya can't help loving something you've created. (I'm sure even Dan Brown has a mother haha.)

I suppose that's why once we hit a certain age there's this deep-seated, intense longing to have someone else love you simply, as unconditionally as humanely possible, without any other selfish motive but to be loved in return. And this means the whole package of enchanting traits and disreputable habits et cetera.

I just want to feel.

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On a lighter note, I'm getting a new camera! Yippeeeee... *shhh* it's supposed to be a secret but anyways my parents'll get my trusty Sony P10 hand-me-down, and I'll just blissfully shop around until something catches my eye. Any suggestions?

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Went to see X Men: The Last Stand yesterday evening with Li Ying, Enn Yong and Min Fung. Pretty good as a movie in itself, but personally I think it's the weakest of the trilogy. Plenty of action and eye-candy, but it lacks the great character development, smooth plot continuity and the wonderful quieter moments of the earlier two. Verdit: X2 still rocks my boat! Oh yeah, for those who have yet to see it, don't forget to stay on until after the credits. After the credits, i say!

The lastest on the entertainment grapevine is that they're gonna make a stand-alone Wolverine movie. Waheyy bring on the sexy Hugh Jackman - encore! Encore!


Lovely painting we saw at the Rembrandt-Caravaggio exhibition at the Van Gogh Museum during the Easter Amsterdam trip - Rembrandt's enchating oil study of his son Titus daydreaming at his desk. Read my long-winded artsy comparison here if you really have nothing better to do.